tremor

never had such COARSE tremor before

worse than i watch horror movie in the cinema alone

worse than sitting for short case during 3rd year internal medicine x1000

worse than sitting for long case during 3rd year OnG x1000

worse than sitting for short case during 4th year paeds x1000

the hands get tremor and the voice also get tremor (for the FIRST time)

if you wanna see people getting tremor, join my group’s teaching then you will see (how people measure the JVP with the tremor hands, how people perform cranial nerve examinations with the tremor hands..) and i think you won’t dare to join. haha.. ok la.. he is good actually, at least he teaches, at least he throws lots of learning issues to us, at least he teaches us how to think.. (much more better than those who never met their supervisor at all).. just that he has the power to make people tremor.. nothing much right, tremor only mah.. won’t die 1..

sorry la.. just can’t help.. i have no idea how to control this involuntary movement.

T.T.. i miss Dr Paras in HKL

those in my group sure see the difference i presented the case in hkl and hukm. arghh..

what’s the difference between a good teacher and a not so good teacher? it’s not purely the knowledge they have, but also the way they treat their students. but for a person who said ppd is useless, fine. i got nothing to say.

don’t judge a book by its cover and don’t simply judge me

one day, i will show you that you are wrong

and

i will end this vicious cycle.

random

testing..

testing..

failed.

next time have to try on the town road. better effect kut. but a bit difficult since am the one who always drive.

burnout

seriously, i think am almost burnout. sounds crazy huh? burnout at the second week of final year?? still got long long way to go man.. come on.

thank you so much for making me feel so stupid in the field which i think am good at. and yet i still can’t find the answer you want, making me feel even stupider.  seriously my brain already stuck and tired of analyse and classify the things in your way, can you just please simply give me the answer. ok, i knw. no more spoon feeding. but i don’t have much time to let myself keep on getting stuck at the same place, same problem, and same question, i need to move on. well, may be i am just the only stupid people who face this kind of problem.

7 back to back teachings in 16 hours. on call on friday night. ya, i know i have learnt a lot. but.. i just need a break. i need to go out. but the tiredness just make me feel don’t wanna move my butt even 1mm from the bed, and the piles of homework really spoil the mood. (ok, i rephrase, it is not compulsory to do the homework).

sometimes, i just don’t understand why there are some people who always seem so energetic and need no rest. are they iron man? duh. ya.. at least they don’t need mobic or arcoxia to function. damn.

arrghh… am desperately need to go somewhere else which has good music and good object/subject for photo shooting. but…

quote of the day

the quote of the day is ‘medical student –> fail until proven otherwise’

if you really learnt medicine through the hard way last time, don’t make us learn it through the hard way as well la. or else it will be a endless vicious circle. please don’t spoil the impression of internal medicine in my heart and don’t scare me, i am a physician wanna be. i just don’t understand why, the staffs in HKL are so nice compared to HUKM. doesn’t mean that all the staffs in HUKM are not nice, just certain people. is there any problem with the system here?

at there,

we dare to ask any question, no matter how stupid izit (since the stupidest question is the question not being asked)

we dare to answer any question, no matter how stupid the answer izit (since the  environment is encouraging, and the best laugh is to laugh at your own stupidity and from there, you learn, they teach us the proper way to think)

at here (not all, just under certain condition/people)

get scold for not asking question which show that you are not enthusiastic enough. get scold for asking stupid question. the answer  you get after asking the question is ‘no more spoon feeding, go back and find out yourself’. i know no more spoon feeding, i know it’s self directed learning nowadays, but we need guidance.

when answering question, no more try and error, and has to be exams oriented, no answer/differential diagnosis  like what you see the walk in real patient in kk, cause AGE won’t come out as the short case during exams. yeah.. probably the person is right in this and we shouldn’t waste our time in going to the wrong way. and the best answer to give when you don’t know is ‘i don’t know’ so it won’t waste everyone’s time. have to be fast in thinking, so if the brain takes too long to retrieve and analyse the data, you better say you don’t know. why have to get scold before getting any input? why cannot learn under pressure-free and non life threatening condition?

and lastly, no offence and no hard feeling k. ‘saya bukan marah, i am just justifying’ (quote from someone, pinjam copyright jap)

and i apologize if am saying something wrong or irritating under this condition of fever and tak betul ni. please don’t fail my continuous assessment. i know how bad am i and i know how bad is our group. so guys, have to tahan and study hard tau. sakit pun kena study hard tau.

hmm, probably it’s my own problem. i am not kiasu enough so am not keen and aggressive enough in learning. so sometimes it is good to be a kiasu people. you will learn more and kena marah less.

gathering + games

some photos taken when met with the gang few months ago. after some procrastinating, finally decided to upload the photos today after bored of studying…

PPD camp 3

i would say that this is the best ppd camp i ever had and it will be perfect without the second part of the camp.

the most memorable thing is the night walk. i actually have exemption letter for that but i changed my mind at last minute, i went AOR. that time was like ‘hey, if i can survive the medical explorace with the pain killer, so i should be able to survive the night walk.. wanted to estimate and push my limit.. and definitely cannot miss a thing which i think will be one of the important parts of my memory’. luckily my group get the easier path for the jungle trekking, or else i think i will regret and won’t be able to laugh and blogging here. lol. even though my group sesat in the jungle but it’s still much more easier than the first 10 groups, where they took around 5-6 hours to came out from the jungle, with all the falls and mud all over the shirts, trousers and shoes. my friends told me that, i won’t be able to survive that. so, really have to thank god. and sorry for the impulsive act because didn’t think of the impact and consequences if something happen to me. (argh… damn.. i just wanna live like a normal people’s life)

well, we are not allowed to take pictures in the camp. but, see this.. hehe.. (ok.. i know the pose was very funny :p)

hehe.. that’s not my DSLR.. it’s pak nan’s cam. haha.. so get caught pun takpe la, i was just ‘helping’ pak nan to take photos anyway. so happy to see his name as one of the urusetia during the briefing. hahaha..

for the second part of the camp. feeling disappointed. living here in this country, feels like you love someone who doesn’t love you. (quote from kak min’s movie? can’t remember the exact words). don’t feel like comment or elaborate more on this. same thing happened during the LDK, i seldom talk doesn’t mean that i agree with you. just that the narrow minded and selectively hearing lost people won’t agree with you. and the more you talk, the more you argue, the more you disagree –> the longer the session, the longer time you have to wait for the breaks and meals, the longer time your stomach have to suffer the hunger. so at the very beginning during the intro and ice breaking session, i have told him that i hate politics and why i hate it. so bijaklah dia for not asking me question. lol. i hate politics doesn’t means that i don’t know about the importance of politics. i don’t like the subject of history doesn’t mean that i don’t know about history (ok la, i tend to ignore and forgot about the details of the story. i only selectively remember the moral of the story. :p). the more one knows about politics especially the dark side of it, the more he/she will hate it. probably you might think that i am not semangat and berazam tinggi enough, since i don’t like it why don’t i try to change it to a better one. sorry la, i love the people and my country through my way. i don’t wanna put my head into the politics yang i can’t even find out who is right and who is wrong.

and for those speakers, please don’t misuse your vocal cord through the microphone during your manic phase, cause it really torturing…