Monthly Archives: May 2009
ok.. this is funny when i received a message ‘salam/hello, u are been asked 2 come 2 world health day meeting tonight on 8.30pm at ibnu sina’
and the funniest thing is ‘tahniah! anda telah dipilih untuk menjadi PENGARAH/EXCO TECHNICAL’. OMG! you asked a person who ONLY pernah pindah kerusi when jadi ajk technical last time to become the EXCO? hello??? you better wish me for not spoiling the things la.. lol.. oh no! exco technical, which means MORE pindah-pindah and pasang-pasang thingy. which means MORE MOBIC + PCM for me.. MORE ice on my back.. omg.. have to get more stock from orthopedic during next follow up.
and rupa-rupanye jia wern and i memang hate someone. someone who always tertelan half of the ‘M’ when he speaks malay. macaM mana –> macaN mana. may be he is too hungry kut, jia wern said. haha..
ok la.. wish me won’t break the things before breaking my back la.. haha..
oh no.. i love this picture so much..
or should i said i love myself so much?? lol..
after seeing this picture, bee ping’s first response was ‘u really like this kind of picture hor’. what to do, i find myself look weird if i didn’t act cool in the picture. and if i act cute, she definitely will laugh her ass off. i think everyone will.. lol..
mood swing again~ ok.. don’t blame psy posting this time.
everything went smoothly yesterday until i get a phone call in the cinema while watching angels and demons. i don’t know whose number is that. and that fellow didn’t answer my question even i asked him twice. he thought i was having lecture that time and hang up.
until today, the incident flashed back and i tried to recall that voice. is that him? then i called my mother to ask whether he called my old number. and the answer is, yeah~ he did. he told my mother he is a friend of mine and so my mother told him my new number. gosh! i ignored his msg last time, i ignored his calls, i ignored his msn, i ignored his facebook, i changed my hp number, i informed everyone except him. and my mother told him. *faint* and after double confirm this evening, IT WAS HIM! *faint again*
whose fault is that? definitely not my mother. she didn’t know that fellow is him. and she didn’t know i didn’t inform him about my new number.
or his fault??
he just makes my life miserable. can someone please kindly help me to get rid of him?? he is so irritating.. how to get him out of my life?? what else can i do???
- kill him?
- racun tikus?
- ECT (electroconvulsive therapy)?
- anything that can remove his memory
gosh.. what am i doing now?? planning to kill?
please la.. it is more than a year already. don’t you understand? just let me go ok?
please don’t make me shout at you and hate you more. you know i will.
hv no idea why, suddenly think of my cousin sis, myo jen in the middle of the night. may be i shouldn’t stay up too late…
if she is still ok, didn’t get infected by encephalitis 6 years ago, didn’t get misdiagnosed simply as fever 6 years ago, she will be living a normal life like anybody else, go to school like other form 5 students, drawing… she can draw very well. she had a good sense in art. but now, she is bedridden. she manage to open her eyes but i dunno whether she can see me. she able to follow ur singing, speech and prayer but i have no idea whether she can understand. but, i know.. she must be trying very hard to recover.
still remember the time she fell sick. that was the first time i entered ICU. the first time i saw all the family members waiting outside the ICU and prayed for her. the first time i heard the words ‘brain damage’ from a doctor. the first time i saw a coma patient, my cousin in front of me.. the first time i saw her intubated with a lot of tubes, under ecg monitoring… the first time i cried when i tried to talk to her.. i bought a bookmark for her that day. i get the bad news on that day and i don’t have the chance to give her the bookmark until today. even after so many years, i still can’t control my tears when i sat alone with her. but still try to be ok in front of others.
sometimes i really hate myself when i start thinking about the bad things.. will she recover? it is brain damage! the damaged neuron won’t regenerate. already 6 years and she is still having hydrocephalus now but her parents don’t want to try any invasive treatment on her. or i should say not dare to try and scare to lose her again.. then, what are the things we can do now? and currently they are trying on qi gong
sometimes i really regret. i should treat her better. i should love her more. i shouldn’t fight with her so often when i was still a kid.
‘suddenly very emo.. shit’ hmm~~ this phrase looks familiar la. someone wrote it in his blog before. never thought that i will use this phrase today.
hv no idea why. may be it is idiopathic or may be it is multifactorial or may be there are too many ‘why’ in my mind for the small small insignificant things.. or get influenced by the depression patient today during workshop (ok.. am start crapping again) so not me today. anyone wanna clerk me??
first blog for the first posting in 4th year. hmm~~ it seems suit with my psy posting.
actually psy is quite interesting. i wanted to study. i really wanted to study but today really unable to concentrate and can’t get anything into my mind. may be am too tired kut. may be i should go to bed now instead of still blogging here.
listening to the same song again and again for the whole day — amazing grace. hmm~ may be should change to yanni, nightingale, adagio in c minor and tribute which have more healing effect. or switch to something upbeat to make myself high. whatever…
‘if you suffer, thank God! — it is a sure sign that you are alive’. ya~ am still alive..
everything will be fine.