Monthly Archives: December 2008

tests

ok..

everything is normal. the results for all the tests are normal..so..whats wrong with me actually??

now is propanolol.

next will be the holter and transthoracic echo.

if the holter and transthoracic echo also normal, then?? should be sth wrong with the pacemaker kut..

then, do i need to depend on propanolol for my entire life??

Advertisements

making up signs

am i making up signs? am i going up signs?? what for??

jz duno why..when i talked to the dr at A&E department, it seems like i was making up signs BCZ THE ECG WAS NORMAL. if the result from the lab investigation is also normal, then i really have no idea how to explain all those signs and symptoms already. hardly to find someone to believe me that i am not making up signs and symptoms. hey man, this is my body ok..i can feel it myself whenever there is something wrong with it ok..and for those who know me well will realise that i am such a stubborn person and will not seek for medical intervention unless i really cannot bear with it anymore..

do you think it is fun to do anything or jz simply hv meal with dyspnoea?? tak lalu makan. or even worse in this O&G posting, busy all the time. not manage to finish the grand ward round last friday. palpitation, tachycardia, tachypnoea and dyspnoea during the round. what to do, hv to chao half way la..or else i will be the one who lying in the ward. tomoro morning still got another grand ward round. went to cover beds just now. i jz stand for around 15mins then sudden onset of backache, very severe backache, never had this before, can hardly stand. was wondered whether i managed to walk back to the hostel or not. after resting awhile in the tutorial room, i started that ‘long long’ journey. backache again when i reached the door. lying flat for around 10mins then only it relieved.

really damn it..everything comes together.

the only positive thing i can think of at this moment is, i finally knw how the patients suffer from their disease. -.-lll

haiz…

what if

palpitation

tachycardia

irregularly irregular pulse

dyspnoea

productive cough

what if…there is really something wrong with my heart??

O&G

O&G= orang gila? orang garang?? whatever..

now have to walk straight after the A&E enterance, no more turning left. however the left turn seems ad became part of my habit, therefore if i am alone or not in rush, i will still turn left to the main building, go to second floor then only turn into O&G department. ya..this is me. like to use the long path. like to waste time. don like changes. almost all the time, i am using the long path, obviously i am alone. 4ppl in a group, only 8 students allocated to yellow ward. only 2 chinese. and i am weird enough. the most headache time is lunch time, it is either alone, sit with whoever coursemate i saw in the cafe, or even end up sitting with the patient’s relative. more and more weird. next time may be i will even hv my lunch in the ward with the patient.

tiba2 dipilih jadi ketua kumpulan. but obviously the i am just chosen to settle the ‘difficult’ stuff. the ‘easy’ stuff like dividing the beds in the ward will be settled by my group members and then only i will be informed what to do and which bed to cover. may be it is a good thing, less job.

not feeling well. cold intoterance. it is so cold in the labour room, OT and even the ward. Raynaud makes my fingers worse. having palpitation whenever i lie flat since last week but already resolved last night.

haiz…endless job waiting..gtg..chaoz..

hair cut

hmm~~am going to hv my hair cut in another 30 mins time.

so da4 pai2 izit? have to make appointment 1st…haha..jz kidding..actually jz wana confirm whether Alan is in the salon or not.

hmm~~should i cut my hair short this time?? at this moment i still hv no idea..

last time during secondary school, i get used to cut my hair short before the exam. then during lower and upper six, i get used to cut my hair everytime after the exam. jz a habit..i also duno why. may be it is a sign for everything has over.

everything has over?? hmm…not really but at least already settled the thing with my little cousin bro. so hectic with him..he is so easily get perasan..perasan dgn benda2 yg bukan2 and so wut dut..the best word to describe him will be ‘ew’. but at least he has improved, longer message and lesser mistake. but still ewwwww….the longer the message, the longer the eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…..

okok…gtg ad…

kids nowadays

kids nowadays are sooooooo………no manners

they wont greet u whenever they see u. i don mean they hv to greet me la..but at least greet the elderly. never say hi or even a smile. the kids from kindergarden till form 5 also behave the same. no matter how good is their result, their behaviour and personality still sucks. i have no idea how their school and their parents teach them. theoritically, yes they are good. practically..haiz..

and now, i regret for transfering the games from my laptop for them. and even regret for helping them to crack the games in their laptop.  on enter their house, they straight away switch on their laptop n expect you to do everything for them. they never talk to me!! then i start cracking the games. though i m not an expert in computer things, but i still able to handle this with the key gen already there. after finished cracking the first game, the kids were so happy but yet still din thank me or even talk to me. they jz talked to their mother and told her to crack the other their favourite games 1st. damn it! cant you just talk to me directly?? hey! i m just sitting right in front of you ok..then the second mission was failed. i failed to crack the game. but i still tried my best to crack it and asked one of them to try running the game and see. then you knw whats their response when their failed to run the game?? as expected ‘Mum!! the game cannot be played!!’ what the hell is that?? cant you just communicate directly with me?? i cant talk izit?? i have problem vf my vocal cord izit?? both of my recurrent laryngeal nerves were being cut izit?? or i cant hear?? or i m transparent?? they cant see me, thats why they never greet me or talk to me. or i m old enough for them?? channel not ngam?? or i eat human??

and luckily 2 of their favourites tak dpt cracked. yeah yeah..tak dapat main. yeah..i m a devil esp for kids…and i was considered in good temper and in self-controlled already, cz i haven open my mouth to teach them on their parents behalf.

if i have the kids like this, i rather give birth to mc dull.

if you really plan to hv child, pls la..pls educate them betul2. just don dirty the population with another rubbish.

brand new look

yeah…this is the brand new look of my blog…

the colour is a bit blue and dark. i purposely chose this theme to suit the header image. although the pic was not taken by me, jz fell in love with it..love its feeling. the whole pic nicer but what to do..hv to crop the image out..bcz the pixel and dimension of the original image cannot fit the header

this is the original image

walking_alone7

this afternoon, suddenly hv an idea wanted to change the look of my blog..so spontaneous without any planning

n fall in love with the image which is black and white in colour recently, therefore the theme and image for the current look is darker..it gives ppl the feeling of blue and down and not as happy as the theme before..but what to do..i jz love it…the current theme also look simpler than before with only 1 sidebar.

the colour of the blog is so JH but the design of the theme (which is simple) is not so me..

it is just complicated

sometimes..may be it is good to be simple

失常

发呆

最近整天发呆

脑子里有太多的东西

但又不知道自己在想什么

胡思乱想??

不知道自己在想什么也是胡思乱想??

胡思乱想算是在反省吗

尝试了解别人在想什么算是胡思乱想吗

发生在我身上的东西往往就是不能有好下场、往往就是要有某些东西来搞砸才像样

就算在内科跟我较好的病人,三个里有两个进回来外科病房

所以说不要靠我太近

最近总觉得自己不对劲、失常

所以就整天尝试着做一些让自己看起来较正常的事

可是又觉得做那些事情其实是不正常的

不好意思,发作了、又来语无伦次了

看来应该没人看得懂我在写什么

如果你看不懂的话,恭喜你!因为你还正常..

兴趣、好奇和怕输的分别在哪里? 它们的定义是什么?

很多东西因为我讨厌怕输的人、怕自己会变成像他们那样、为了避免被label上怕输的标签而不去做。但也就因为兴趣与好奇通通把那些东西给犯了。这有分别吗?说真的,那条界限越来越模糊了。越避免自己变成某种人,就觉得自己越像某种人。或许我的本质就是哪种人。

很乱很乱,现在的脑很乱,今天这整篇东西都很乱,东一块西一块

算了,完全不知道自己在写什么