Monthly Archives: April 2010

going back home

yeah.. am going back home tomorrow, straight after my last 4 hours shift waiting for MVA at ED.

can’t wait to be at home…

am going to lie flat on my bed or sofa ke.. as long as possible to deflate the tarlov shit/cyst.. and yeah.. finally i can rest my lower limbs.. but the saddle anaesthesia is going to be worsen on the 5 hours bus ride before i can reach home.. sigh..

miss the air-con so much in this kind of hot weather in KL. ya.. i know it did rain recently, but my room just appear to be hot. hotter than anywhere else.. and sometimes extremely hot..

miss the food at home.. hmm.. may be i should bring my mother out to celebrate her belated birthday.. or no need kut.. cause i will be using her money to belanja her as well. :p or may be i should suggest this to my dad, then we are using my dad’s money.. wakakaka..

hmmm… should i go penang to get the reversing ring and close up filter for my cam?? should i buy a flashlight as well?? since it will be cheaper in penang but arrgh.. no time to survey for the price yet..

should i cut my hair??

i wanna go home.. seriously.. dah exhausted.. the data collection nearly drive me into crazy..

ssm group photos

“students pandang kat buku, doctor pandang depan.. smile..”

“yayaya… tunjuk2 sikit kat buku tu”

mr johar insists to wear white coat. but i prefer him to be in black.

1 malaysia (kononnye).. hahaha..

“semua pandang kat buku.. smile..”

(dila dila.. pandang kat buku la, bukan depan.. n buka mata.. :p)

photos were taken in mini studio of multimedia department. (the photos should be taken somewhere at the foyer, but since pak nan asked us to go into the studio, so ikut je la.. :p) we’re having lots of fun but when already get used to be the photographer, tak biasa jadi model pulak.. :p



the first POP i made.

snap a picture of it before i throw it since am very proud of myself for successfully making such a nice POP, kena puji sampai kembang dah [:p narcissism attack] (have been telling myself about this since orthopedic posting, see.. can imagine i have kept this sampah in my room for how many months?? LOL)

so it’s time to throw it.



i hate the hot weather

i hate headache

i hate those people who cause me headache

i hate those things which cause me headache

i hate myself to be so intolerance towards caffeine

i hate insomnia

i hate when both headache and insomnia happen together

i hate taking pain killer

i hate taking loratadine OD

i hate those people who being so inconsiderate

i hate those people who always take me for granted

i hate someone, someone and someone

and i hate myself to have so many ‘hate’, sorry.. can’t help. i am a human too, i have my own threshold, i have my own limit and i am imperfect.

and i cant even help if you so perasan to feel that ‘those people’ and ‘someone’ i hate is you.


The camera can photograph thought.


thanks to my buddy, beng siong for teman-ing me doing all those funny and crazy things in putrajaya.

next mission: i think i should start looking for good angles of HUKM… 🙂

thinking too much

have been thinking too much lately.. probably am too free while waiting for MVA at emergency department for the ssm.

am i the person who had changed and left other people behind, or the people around me are those who had changed and left me far behind standing at the same place, or everyone had changed. and sometimes, i just don’t understand why, when people expecting me to be good and nice with them, put them at priority, why i couldn’t expect the same from them.

helped in doing CPR, saw doctors resuscitating the patient and the patient died eventually. seeing the family members cried, then only i realised, why i feel nothing at all. sometimes, i really feel bad that i feel nothing at all, not even sad. some said that, it is a good sign since you have became more and more professional. but on the other hand, i cried when i watch movie or drama. so what does it mean? am i really cold blooded??

and sometimes, i will try to figure out whats the feeling of being a patient and whats the feeling of being the family member of the patient. yes, i am a patient, i have urticarial vasculitis, i have tarlov cyst… but still, i feel the same (or sometimes get irritated by the itchiness and pain) while my family members are worried about me. one night, before sleep, my mom suddenly asked me ‘are you afraid/worried of the cyst?’ i replied ‘nah.. what to afraid of.. and i can do nothing about it what’. may be you can say that i feel nothing because i understand the disease. but why not my family members understand it even though i have explained hundreds times to them. they still asking me to try this and that (i mean the alternative medicine). probably some will say that i already get numb, i dah biasa with the disease thingy and i have seen even worse cases.

performed/assisted post-mortem yesterday, still trying to figure out whats the feeling when i first hold the brain with the left hand and cut the optic chiasm with right hand, holding the heart in hand…


later night shift again.. 9pm-8am.. so there will be more thinking of nonsense?? crapping? but i would say it is called ‘reflect’ in proper term. LOL.















ssm = sangat sangat menyeksakan?? yeah.. sometimes… especially when not enough time to sleep and no time for me to go out lepak. we tak sempat to wait for all the members back to kl and started it earlier, so we have shift everyday, almost day and night. feeling like wanna bring a sleeping bag and sleep in emergency department or may be i should just sleep at the empty cubicle and ask the staff nurse or MA to buzz me up when there is MVA. ok.. i know we are a little bit jahat cause we are waiting for people to langgar motor and admit to the hospital or else we will have not enough sample (the happiest time is when the motorcyclist is admitted together with the pillion). hmm.. lets betulkan niat tu, we are not hoping for motorcycle accidents, we are just hoping the people who involved in motorcycle accidents being sent to HUKM. :p

well, from my observation in ED this few days, there are some trends going on… like..

  • at least 1-2 psy case per day
  • there are more indian patients at night, sama ada accidents ke, kena parang, kena pisau…
  • once started to have paeds case, there will be a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot of paeds cases and you wont get any MVA case since then.
  • the similar cases like to come with double, eg. today, within around 1-2hr if not mistaken, 2 different patients fell down and came to ED with swollen wrist.
  • when there are lots of patients, it means really a lot till not enough cubicle. when sunyi, it really sunyi till u can mengantuk over there.
  • ….

while waiting for the MVA cases and prevent myself from moulding, the best thing to do is jadi kepo (ie penyibuk). kepo about other cases. wanted to help the staffs but have no idea how, feeling like blocking their way only, but still tried helping the simple simple procedure.. the complicated procedure, have to observe 1st, don’t wanna kelam-kabutkan diorang. luckily ada MA help us in detecting the MVA cases while i kepo-ing kat dalam. :p

so tempted to go out with the ambulance, never try before. sure will tag with them one day and a MA also told me that i should try. hopefully not gonna have motion sickness when sitting at the back la. and after a MA showed me the photos he took at the scene, i lagi tempted to follow the ambulance (lagi best if am allowed to bring my slr.. wuhoo… ok la, compact camera pun good enough :p).