RIP

may you rest in peace, Ai Hsiang.

other than that, i don’t know what to say.

memories where we spent time together with the gang keep on flashing back in my brain. although it is not many but it is enough to make me cry. after spending some times in hospital and in this field, i really thought i am tough enough to see and go through this. but in reality, i am not. still remember the day when u’re sitting behind me in the class, sitting beside me in the tuition class, the day when we skipped class together with the gang for that stupid hand knitted jalur gemilang, the day we’re having bbq at my house… chuan yit and i still thought of having another bbq with the gang during the raya holidays… T.T

sometimes, i will imagine that what will it be if my friends or my family members collapse in front of me and i fail to resuscitate them. but now… i don’t even dare to think about it.

i know, this is part of our life and we have to go through it. but practically it is definitely not that easy unless you are cold-blooded as someone who left a comment at my facebook status.

and i know, this is not a suitable time for being emo but HOW TO STAY STRONG??

T.T

did you ever seen patient crying in the OT?

i have been in the OT for so many times but never seen it until my anaes posting where i hv been seeing it twice in 1 week, including today.

never thought that it is so scary for a patient to be in the OT, waiting to be ‘cut’, cause we have been get used to it, go in and out everyday just like part of our lives.

what will it be if the situation is opposite where we are the one who lying inside the OT waiting to be cut?? will it be different?

crutch

saw a staff nurse in OT who was walking with a forearm crutch today..

seriously, i don’t want to walk with the crutch… T.T

and i don’t want to take pain killer…

probably you will say that i am having medical student syndrome

yeah… maybe i really have hypochondriasis, conversion or pain disorder.. who knows..

a decade of glory

surprisingly, i didn’t upload any photo of the college dinner to my facebook album.

nah.. the photos i like are not enough to make an album (i have OCD trait) and afterall others already tagged me..

and…

its either the photos were blur,

or other people looked nice in the picture but i looked blur (not sure whether was i ter-move, or the photos were not being focus properly),

or with the right person but wrong angle,

or with the right angle but wrong person,

or the angle of people prefer to look at me is different from me (even my cousin bro likes to take that angle of me which i hate the most and put into the family photos),

or people jealous because i slimmer than them, and they purposely make me look fatter with certain angle of my face,

or…

argh.. shouldn’t blame others..

it’s my fault cause i dunno how to pose and i memang don’t look nice.

sien…

tried to choose some potrait of mine to put in here but fail.