Category Archives: sienz

HATE

seriously,

i hate the hot weather

i hate headache

i hate those people who cause me headache

i hate those things which cause me headache

i hate myself to be so intolerance towards caffeine

i hate insomnia

i hate when both headache and insomnia happen together

i hate taking pain killer

i hate taking loratadine OD

i hate those people who being so inconsiderate

i hate those people who always take me for granted

i hate someone, someone and someone

and i hate myself to have so many ‘hate’, sorry.. can’t help. i am a human too, i have my own threshold, i have my own limit and i am imperfect.

and i cant even help if you so perasan to feel that ‘those people’ and ‘someone’ i hate is you.

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a decade of glory

surprisingly, i didn’t upload any photo of the college dinner to my facebook album.

nah.. the photos i like are not enough to make an album (i have OCD trait) and afterall others already tagged me..

and…

its either the photos were blur,

or other people looked nice in the picture but i looked blur (not sure whether was i ter-move, or the photos were not being focus properly),

or with the right person but wrong angle,

or with the right angle but wrong person,

or the angle of people prefer to look at me is different from me (even my cousin bro likes to take that angle of me which i hate the most and put into the family photos),

or people jealous because i slimmer than them, and they purposely make me look fatter with certain angle of my face,

or…

argh.. shouldn’t blame others..

it’s my fault cause i dunno how to pose and i memang don’t look nice.

sien…

tried to choose some potrait of mine to put in here but fail.

seriously, i am not free

seriously, i am not free. i know currently i am in psychiatry posting and relatively more free than other posting. BUT, it is not as free as you think, third year. i have clinic and sgd until i hv to skip my lunch, teaching, 2-3 ssm meeting per week, case write up, 2 reflective writing, ppd community project (meeting, preparation, visit, slide, presentation), visit to drug addiction center, visit to hospital bahagia ulu kinta, log book, autopsy.. and i havent long case yet!

why cant you take initiative to help me with the things?? i dunno what posting are you in. i know third year also busy. and i know some of you busy gila wanna get signature for the log book, kiasu gila wanna insert the brannula, until insert the brannula to the patients who don’t even need it. please la, izit the correct way you practise? izit right to simply open up a patient’s abdomen and suture it back jz because you need to practise your skill??

and why cant the ppl specify the quantity of the things they needed?? u only let me know you need the PA system yang secukupnya. what do you mean by secukupnya? 50 microphone? 100 speakers?? please la.. if you want me to remove a brain tumor, you got to let me know the detail of the tumor, where is the tumor, tumor size.. or else how do i know to what extend i have to remove it? the whole brain?? stupid gila.

why cant the ppl stop projecting (defense mechanism – projection)?? they are the ppl who are late and slow in doing things but asking me to be earlier. very funny. i already told them last 2 weeks but now that fellow remind me back.

i know you are busy and everyone here is busy but i am not that free as you think too.

475px-Busy_desk.svg

arrhh..

arrhhh… seriously, i hate my room now..

it is so messy, don’t feel like living here..

for the whole morning, i clean the bathroom and the toilet but not my room.

i clean the stupid hair stucked at the sink but havent sweep away the hair from my room.

and i wonder which fellow wash her hair at the sink.

and now.. am so tired to tidy and clean my room ad. yiu.. and it is almost 3pm and i havent had my lunch.

don’t mean to hate that fellow, but i really tak syok with her now. i know your house is near hukm. i know you can go back home every weekend. BUT CAN YOU PLEASE WASH THE TOILET BEFORE YOU GO BACK??? this is definitely not a good excuse for you to skip this. i know may be you dont mean to.. just that it is not a good idea to irritate me more when i am labile and irritable..

arr… just temporary stay away from me if you wanna be alive..

how to get rid of someone

mood swing again~ ok.. don’t blame psy posting this time.

everything went smoothly yesterday until i get a phone call in the cinema while watching angels and demons. i don’t know whose number is that. and that fellow didn’t answer my question even i asked him twice. he thought i was having lecture that time and hang up. 

until today, the incident flashed back and i tried to recall that voice. is that him? then i called my mother to ask whether he called my old number. and the answer is, yeah~ he did. he told my mother he is a friend of mine and so my mother told him my new number. gosh! i ignored his msg last time, i ignored his calls, i ignored his msn, i ignored his facebook, i changed my hp number, i informed everyone except him. and my mother told him. *faint* and after double confirm this evening, IT WAS HIM! *faint again*

whose fault is that? definitely not my mother. she didn’t know that fellow is him. and she didn’t know i didn’t inform him about my new number. 

my fault?

or his fault??

he just makes my life miserable. can someone please kindly help me to get rid of him?? he is so irritating.. how to get him out of my life?? what else can i do??? 

  1. kill him?
  2. paraquat?
  3. racun tikus?
  4. ECT (electroconvulsive therapy)?
  5. anything that can remove his memory

gosh.. what am i doing now?? planning to kill?

please la.. it is more than a year already. don’t you understand? just let me go ok? 

please don’t make me shout at you and hate you more. you know i will.

miserable

6 march 2009

cannot think of any suitable title for this post, so just let it be 6th of march 2009.

watched a movie called ‘seven pounds’ this afternoon and i cried. probably my threshold is decreasing… but definitely not to horror movie. Seven Pounds, directed by Gabriele Muccino. am not going to discuss the plot here, probably someone will scold me for doing that. anyway, it is a great movie.

a wonderful beginning of the day but the things after the movie are sooooooooo… irritating…

first, there is someone keeps on updating status every hour, changing relationship status everyday, leaving comments, changing profile pictures…until almost all the single line of the homepage of facebook is about ‘her’. damn… can i block her?? i know you are free, i know you are bored… and i know you are there in facebook, you no need to do so many things to prove that and let the world know bout that.

and there is another someone, who didn’t irritate me recently but i just hate that fellow recently. don’t ask me why, because i also don’t know why. probably is due to hormone imbalance.

and yet there is still another annoying phone call, probably at 7pm later.

the stupid palpitation attacks again. so far 2 episodes after lunch. it is so irritating…

Hotlink, Maxis and Celcom, can you stop messaging me??? i know i have unlimited space in my inbox, but you are just a space occupying lesion.

i just woke up few hours ago but i am damn sleepy now and there is still lots of things in my to do list.

and please decrease the volume of the mic outside my window.. it is damaging my kinocilia and stereocilia…

sigh…

friday

这是某人要求的一篇post,基于种种理由而不方便透露某人的名字,不过如果读到后面,那某人应该很庆幸我只叫他某人。还有要注明的是此某人非某人。

不过也是的,好像已经很久很久没有写blog了,很忙+没心情。今早赶功课赶到凌晨三点才睡,七点多就得起身去cover beds了。今早的所有事情还真是一团糟。去到病房,我的四张床都有病人,而我朋友的四张床却空,他还要很风凉地笑我。然后等grand ward round从八点等到十点半才开始,十二点才结束。printer打印到一半没ink了,结果就跑去图书馆印,很聪明的图书馆的那架电脑只能打印却不能上网,必须把资料从别架电脑save了在搬去那架电脑打印,然后我又很聪明的忘记把pendrive带在身上,还好在图书馆门口遇到学姐…然后跑去bind,怎知道kak ros关了,结果被逼驾车到taman midah去bind。再一次,我很聪明地在taman midah的一条街上反方向驾驶。回到医院后,阿某人还教我非法park车,呵呵。

交了我的cwu后,我们就开始了我们的金三角半日游。首先,先去看戏。这还是第一次看戏看到这样凄惨。我们进同一间戏院、看同一场戏却分隔两地,一个在东一个在西。看完戏下楼梯时不小心又扭到左脚,没办法它就是跟我作对,不扭到脚是不能过日子的,不过还好不是像上次那样严重,还能走、能驾车,不然的话..呵呵..我跟某人都得‘搭德士’回了,呵呵..过后就去lowyat买printer ink,看到pendrive很便宜结果就顺道买了一支4GB的,而某人买了rechargeable batteries。然后就去阿嶪靓汤吃晚餐,很有家的感觉,搞到某人忍不住打电话回家。怎知就让我发现了某人一个超搞笑的称呼:猪猪(福建话)!!!!! wakakkakakakakakakakaka….

吃完晚餐后就去金河买巫巫+唱金鱼缸。原本只是免费唱半小时的,结果在金鱼缸里唱下唱下就唱了近两小时,从流行曲唱到il divo、唱到声都沙了、两支mic都没电了才甘愿走人。

然后去打包mc d,宵夜??没办法,我得吃药。

好啦,supper time.. 然后就去Zzzzz…明早还要on-call..祝我好运啦..

O&G

O&G= orang gila? orang garang?? whatever..

now have to walk straight after the A&E enterance, no more turning left. however the left turn seems ad became part of my habit, therefore if i am alone or not in rush, i will still turn left to the main building, go to second floor then only turn into O&G department. ya..this is me. like to use the long path. like to waste time. don like changes. almost all the time, i am using the long path, obviously i am alone. 4ppl in a group, only 8 students allocated to yellow ward. only 2 chinese. and i am weird enough. the most headache time is lunch time, it is either alone, sit with whoever coursemate i saw in the cafe, or even end up sitting with the patient’s relative. more and more weird. next time may be i will even hv my lunch in the ward with the patient.

tiba2 dipilih jadi ketua kumpulan. but obviously the i am just chosen to settle the ‘difficult’ stuff. the ‘easy’ stuff like dividing the beds in the ward will be settled by my group members and then only i will be informed what to do and which bed to cover. may be it is a good thing, less job.

not feeling well. cold intoterance. it is so cold in the labour room, OT and even the ward. Raynaud makes my fingers worse. having palpitation whenever i lie flat since last week but already resolved last night.

haiz…endless job waiting..gtg..chaoz..

hair cut

hmm~~am going to hv my hair cut in another 30 mins time.

so da4 pai2 izit? have to make appointment 1st…haha..jz kidding..actually jz wana confirm whether Alan is in the salon or not.

hmm~~should i cut my hair short this time?? at this moment i still hv no idea..

last time during secondary school, i get used to cut my hair short before the exam. then during lower and upper six, i get used to cut my hair everytime after the exam. jz a habit..i also duno why. may be it is a sign for everything has over.

everything has over?? hmm…not really but at least already settled the thing with my little cousin bro. so hectic with him..he is so easily get perasan..perasan dgn benda2 yg bukan2 and so wut dut..the best word to describe him will be ‘ew’. but at least he has improved, longer message and lesser mistake. but still ewwwww….the longer the message, the longer the eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…..

okok…gtg ad…

kids nowadays

kids nowadays are sooooooo………no manners

they wont greet u whenever they see u. i don mean they hv to greet me la..but at least greet the elderly. never say hi or even a smile. the kids from kindergarden till form 5 also behave the same. no matter how good is their result, their behaviour and personality still sucks. i have no idea how their school and their parents teach them. theoritically, yes they are good. practically..haiz..

and now, i regret for transfering the games from my laptop for them. and even regret for helping them to crack the games in their laptop.  on enter their house, they straight away switch on their laptop n expect you to do everything for them. they never talk to me!! then i start cracking the games. though i m not an expert in computer things, but i still able to handle this with the key gen already there. after finished cracking the first game, the kids were so happy but yet still din thank me or even talk to me. they jz talked to their mother and told her to crack the other their favourite games 1st. damn it! cant you just talk to me directly?? hey! i m just sitting right in front of you ok..then the second mission was failed. i failed to crack the game. but i still tried my best to crack it and asked one of them to try running the game and see. then you knw whats their response when their failed to run the game?? as expected ‘Mum!! the game cannot be played!!’ what the hell is that?? cant you just communicate directly with me?? i cant talk izit?? i have problem vf my vocal cord izit?? both of my recurrent laryngeal nerves were being cut izit?? or i cant hear?? or i m transparent?? they cant see me, thats why they never greet me or talk to me. or i m old enough for them?? channel not ngam?? or i eat human??

and luckily 2 of their favourites tak dpt cracked. yeah yeah..tak dapat main. yeah..i m a devil esp for kids…and i was considered in good temper and in self-controlled already, cz i haven open my mouth to teach them on their parents behalf.

if i have the kids like this, i rather give birth to mc dull.

if you really plan to hv child, pls la..pls educate them betul2. just don dirty the population with another rubbish.