Monthly Archives: July 2011
med life? or mad life?
your life? or patients’ life?
sorry to say that you have to use your life to change with patients’ life. deal?
still trying hard to get my life back in that long working hours and working 7 days a week.
i think my dslr getting rusted already.
even though you get paid for your job, but also still has no place and no time to spend it.
get a new mac book air? it will probably end up with dusk at a corner.
get a external flash for my dslr? it will probably get rusted with my slr.
buy new clothes and shoes? the choices available here was.. ehem..
ok.. right chao.. i don’t wanna sacrifice my sleeping hours here and writing nonsense already..
yeah.. like what the previous post stated.. on call again with ****
yeah.. like usual.. not a good call.. the main thing is bcz she wont come to review the patient after ?? dunno what time at night, as usual.. hv to settle the things by urself. the problem in this posting is, every plan has to be from MO. so still, your job will get stuck half way. -_-lll
and the worst thing was, post call have to enter elective OT. and it’s spine OT. it’s not the problem with spine OT. it’s just too tired to go into spine OT with backache and leg pain for another 11 hours. sakit wei.. even with the celecoxib and baclofen. may be i will be the next patient lying there for steroid injection. damn. and i found out the most torture thing after scrubbed in is to have foot itchiness. damn, cannot scratch it by hands.
but then luckily today i got a relatively day off by going the mobile blood bank.. whee…
changed ward tomorrow.. am going to second class ward tomorrow… dunno how’s the things going there.. but whee again.. rou yun is there in the ward with me. but frankly speaking, am going to miss everyone in 3A very much. very very much.
post call today.
not a good call after all when have to oncall with ****. yeah right it’s a mo factor to decide whether that day jonah or not.
people always said periphery call very nice, can sleep a lot. but this is definitely wrong when the mo oncall is ****.
– toe gangrene + acute on chronic kidney disease + frank hematuria
– day 2 post op still having active bleeding in the ward, still in blood transfusion and patient requests to change ward
– post disarticulation still having active bleeding in ICU
– have to scrub in to another emergency OT for compartment syndrome secondary to snake bite
– referral from surgical (where the ppl on call the day before forgot to review the patient)
– other minor minor stuffs like post op review, insert brannula, blood taking, call blood bank, fill in GXM form…
– and the most irritated thing is during the emergency op and have to check the blood for blood transfusion intra-op, the ppk who sent the blood lost the carbon copy of the GXM form. what the hell??
frankly speaking, it’s so tiring to run between wards, ICU and OT.. ZZzzzzz
and yet it feel so warm sometimes when the nurses help to tapao dinner (having dinner at 2.30am), get the spoon and container for drinks from pantry, prepared the spoon and food on the counter table and washed the spoon for me. :p
at last, the worst worst worst thing is i have to oncall with **** again next week.
is it a new beginning?
is it a new journey?
is it a new life?
or it is just another new journey which leads to hell?
may be am the only one who is so innocent, who thought that when you help people, people will help you back when you are in trouble. but in this real world, people will safe their own ass first. so, rule number 1, protect yourself first. it’t not the thing i want. it’s not that i am selfish, am just cannot take it being hurt again.
rule number 2, protect yourself first. protect myself? how? is that really that easy? is that really that easy to protect yourself, when facing the pressure from your small boss to protect and cover her up when she did something wrong? is that really tat easy to help her telling lie in front of so many big bosses?? and i did. i did all of them. i did unethical things! i did unethical things to cover my small boss’s mistake!
probably you will think that it’s only small matter. but i just can’t take it. i can’t accept the fact that i did something unethical. i probably did harm the patient indirectly.
God, i just wanted to help the patients. and do no harm.
please somebody teach me how to get out from this? at least teach me how to get out from this sense of guilt.