today is not my day again.
may be i should say, this is not my year..
where the things like to go wrong.
may be i am not a person who always with luck.
may be i have used up all my luck in my good old days.
may be the things i wish and ask for are just too much.
or may be i should just be thankful and appreciate whatever things i have now and shouldn’t ask for more.
stop giving me false positive hope and result. don’t You think it is enough for me?
may be i shouldn’t expect too much.
may be i shouldn’t care so much.
may be i should just give up the things..
to prevent my mood from being labile and irritable.
please teach me how to control and desensitize myself
the more i suppress, the more i explode
but still i have to suppress myself
the more i hate people, the more i hate myself
but yet still i cannot agree and accept those people
arrrhh…
is that You who make my life miserable?
or i myself who make my own life miserable with every choice i’ve made??
yah, expecting is tiring…
the more u expect the more u disappointed
i hv tried many times, and get the same outcome so many times…
im sick of it too….and feeling that all this phobia….will it be from there as well