the lucky 1?

m i the lucky one?

yes..i m the lucky number 1 for my observed long case…

duno wan to b happy or sad or stress up..in dilemma…duno wat should i actually feel.

went to physiotherapy this morning n got a very nice physiotherapist. she even still can remember me even though we just met once 2 weeks ago. underwent heat therapy. felt better after tat but the condition only last for  around2-3 hrs. the next appointment will be on nx friday (mayb i memang hv been chosen to be the 1st 1 for my long case so that wont crash with my nx physio)..

bac to the ward after that. did a short case. did a PNS examination on a patient. such a nice patient. this is a 36 y/o malay gentleman with the background history of atopic eczema was diagnosed to have hydrocephalus secondary to TB meningitis. operation was done n was transferred to medical ward. due to the eczema, he felt very inferior n kept on saying sorry to us when we did physical examination on him. actually he shouldn’t apologize to us..this is part of our job and responsibility as a future doctor. we shouldn’t deny a patient jz bcz he has eczema. n wats the feeling when a patient hold ur hand tight n wish all the best in ur study and future carrier..so touch..

finished the mobic ad..went to get the medicine..its free this time!!! may b god knw i broke ad..n accidently i met dr kew, my ppd camp faci jz outside the pharmacy. this was the 1st time i met him in hukm..borak awhile n lepasksn dia for lunch la..kasihan tengok dia..too busy..

haiz…busy busy…so m i…

supposed to be happy for the whole day de…y suddenly end up vf the long case mia stuff…

haiz…got to bac to my work liao..

变了？

是我变了吗

是我变得太介意、过度关心某些事、某些人吗

还是是其他人变冷血了

曾经以为自己很冷血，应该说这二十二年来都以为自己很冷血。最起码我喜欢看恐怖片和悲剧，而且是越多人死越爽。中六生物课解剖白老鼠时不像有些朋友不忍心杀死那只白老鼠而放弃那个实验，宁愿不要分数，相反的我还解剖了两只。也曾经想过要做法医..

曾经以为自己很帅、很潇洒..拿得起放得下..但现在有所保留了，原来有些事口口声声说不介意、不管我的事、我不知道、我管不着、随他、由他…其实是介意和放不下心的..

最近慢慢发现我并不是我想象的那样

是我变了吗

还是内心深处的我其实就是那样

这样的改变到底是好事还是坏事

还是继续对身边的人和事冷血、不要注入太多感情是好的，最起码不会介意太多事情、有事起来也不会伤得太深..

不孝

忽然间觉得自己很不孝

第一，最起码的我竟然没想家。

第二，有时真的觉得我对医院里的病人还好过对自己的家人。打电话回家也好（应该是说等我妈打来），很少会问起家里其他人的状况，也没跟我公公聊过电话….就连我十岁的堂妹有时也会问我妈有没有想我、看到我公公婆婆咳嗽时会倒水给他们喝…而我，我爸在吉隆坡工作的十几年里，我根本记不起我有没有问过我妈有没有想念我爸…

第三，回到家也好，不是往外跑就是在家睡觉..也没说抽点时间陪我公公聊天、关心他…

haiz…失败，还以为最近自己ppd进步了…

warisan mesra

不欢而散

smile

a smile costs nothing but gives much. it enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. it takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

n the shortest distance between 2 ppl is a smile.

ya…everything begins with a smile. it can b a way of saying ‘hi’, a sign of thank you and appreciation and most importantly it makes ppl warm esp in the wards and hospital.

feel so nice and great when the patients and their family members balas my smile and even giv me a smile b4 me

for most of the time, we r always the one who ask the patient ‘how do u feel today?’

hv u ever experienced the situation where the patient  ask u ‘how do u do today?’, ‘ dah makan belum?’

or even touch when they asked u ‘ r u coming to visit me again tomoro?’

smile and talk to them..not only to the patients but also to their family members..care for them n u wil feel it fr their eyes..

ya…may b i m the only 1 who jz too perasan n waste a lot of time on it…

gtg…got to study liao..u can do nth without the knowledge although u care for them.

today…

finally can online liao…

n finally my little grandbuddy contact me liao..now only msg me..duno its a good thing or bad thing but at least he stil contact me.

today, pinjam my zt notes to a patient who had resigned early of 2008 due to the disease, she is jz 25 n stil looking for a job, will be sitting for the exam/interview to b a government servant this saturday. but she is admitted to the ward now. wat to do?? jz lent her sth to read la..at least sth about dasar n perlembagaan malaysia. mayb u wil feel tat i m crazy n too kind to the pt as well as lost my notes like tat..watever la…

jadi directory of hukm again today…jz wonder y so many ppl like to ask me how to get here n how to get there…n it occurs so often…may b there are perkataan of ‘baik hati’ written on my face kut…haha..(muka tembok)..showed ppl the way to renal ICU today…my ‘GPS’ record so far include A&E, pharmacy, makmal pemeriksaan, medical ward 6, 5, 3 and 1, renal ICU, wad pemulihan jantung and CCU.

then followed by a lot of irritating stuff today.

1st, ‘my dear group member’ who always complain complain complain n kutuk kutuk kutuk kutuk kutuk my supervisor suddenly brought in 2 other coursemates from other groups to join our teaching. not saying tat i don like to share or don like others to join us…but at the 1st place, pls don kutuk ppl. if u feel tat our supervisor tat bad, y stil ajak others to join us?? n behave like a copy cat for the whole teaching…following n mumbling wat ppl said…arrhh…cannot tahan nia…

another teaching vf the registra was postponed to friday…so went to ward to clerk 1 more pt then only go bac..manatau jz finished approaching the pt, 5 more students (include 3 coursemates n 2 elective posting students) cut my Q n do his PE. n according to the way my buddy taught me to look for the JVP, even the top student fr shanghai pun..oh oh…erk!! n the way he did the manoeuvres was RUDE!!! he jz wan to finish all the steps of the PE nia n don care everything. top student kononnya…PUI4..pls la..jz care the pt more dan bukan hanya showmanship.

n finally the ANTS!!! the sarang is underneath the carpet of the fridge..backache..tak larat to pindah sendiri. n my dear housemate who is so KIND n CUTE enough to talk to the ants and asked them to pindah keluar sendiri…n now the fact is ‘ the ants r moving into MY ROOM!!’ damn it!! stil crapping about the ‘theory of living together’?? now, the situation is either the ants die or u die..can u jz kill the ants??!!! or if they don wan to move out, ask them to move into ur room la.

really sien diao

scoliosis

scoliosis is defined as lateral curvature of vertebral column.

there r 2 types of scoliosis-postural scoliosis and structural scoliosis

idiopathic scoliosis is a type of structural form and is the most common type of scoliosis, accounting for 80% of cases. it occurs in 3 forms: infantile, juvanile and adolescent.

The adolescent form is seen between 10 years of age and maturity. This is the most common type of idiopathic scoliosis, accounting for 80% of all cases. It is more common in female adolescents (95%) than in male adolescents. Most cases involve the thoracic region with convexity to the right side; the apex of the curve commonly at the level of T7 or T8. This form can occur in the lumbar vertebrae, which is commonly concave to the right side. Theoretically, most of these curves originate in juveniles and later manifest in adolescents.

blablablabla….as the conclusion, i m diagnosed to hv SCOLIOSIS.

filled in the form for x-ray myself, wrote my own history

blood test: slightly increase in platelet count and ESR, slightly decrease in sodium level, CRP normal…..

AP and lateral view of lumbasacral, sacroiliac joint: concave to the right side.

now on  Meloxicam (MOBIC). skip it while i can stil bear vf the pain and discomfort. take 1 if hv to spend the whole day in the ward and hospital. max take 2.

was referred to orthopedic and physiotherapy. but according to the staff nurse of orthopedic clinic, the earliest appointment i can get wil b around nov or dec. kononnya terlalu ramai orang sakit tulang belakang, if the prob i hv is sakit tangan or sakit kaki then wil b earlier. sien diao. then the appointment for physiotherapy wil b 2 weeks later..sien sien…

tot got any shortcut to make the appointment date earlier, manatau someone is not ngam vf the orthopedic ppl n another 1 tot she wil more fren vf the ortho or physio ppl since she always hv to follow up at ortho clinic and physio, manatau she told me she not ngam vf them too. very funny!! not ngam??!! i tot she always bring along the pengilat kasut wherever she goes..the shoes of the MO, HO and even 5th yr seniors all kilat2 one. kasut yg dah kena darah and step on her pun dia bersihkan sampai kilat2. paling cannot tahan is she wil then memburuk-burukkan some of them in front of us, even kutuk our supervisor stil… jz like a typical KEPO!!!

ok la…lapar ad…got to go for dinner liao…

kesimpulannya, i got scoliosis and DON EVER TRY TO BULLY ME anymore….hehe…

backache

arrhh…i hate backache….

last time the pain jz localised around the shoulder and scapula

now hv to +low bac pain which is progressively worsen for the past 5 weeks. temporary relieved by rest n lying flat on the bed. jz hate it.

arrhhhh….cant do anything on it…

someone..

someone cried in front of me..a person i not really like recently..but wat else can i do?? giv her a tissue n comfort her lo..although i m not good in tat. cried bcz of kena marah by the ho due to the communication break down between the patient, ho and her. the lesson learnt is when being the translator, pls deliver the msg clearly between the patient and dr. n also don too kepo. duno whose fault was tat bcz diff diff version fr diff ppl.

dreamed of someone passed away this morning..thank god, he stil in the ward..as usual, visiting him everyday and spend some time chatting vf him til ada org panggil ‘tu pakcik jiahui’…(yaya..mayb someone wil say i m wasting my time again..)…he is going to b operated soon for his valves..god bless him, he is such a cute and nice uncle..

changed my point of view towards someone today..she is good…jz tat she talks too fast, not eonugh time for me to write down everything she had mentioned. but stil a little bit scare to meet her tomoro.

gtg liao..tired like hell today, low bac pain worsen..haiz..

lun zun

very lun zun recently

hurt myself again today while moving the convo stuff up the lorry…